So part of this sorting out the house exercise that we're fully involved in at the moment involves going through old stuff and getting rid where necessary. A rather inevitable result of that is finding things you'd forgotten about - old memories and stuff.
The main thing that's struck me this morning is finding a box full of old letters from people (remember those?!?!). Predominantly from 3 people - my cousin, my grandfather and my great-grandmother. What things they bring back! The tales of my cousin's experiences of Americans while spending time out there, followed by various tribulations of starting university and the new experiences that brings. My grandfather's mission to convert the village horticultural society (of which he had become chairman despite an utter lack of interest in anything plant-based) into a wine club! My great-grandmother's general insights into life.
It's amazing what you can find when you start opening boxes and thinking 'gosh I wonder what's in this one' - 2 hours later you're still reading!
It's quite fun though! :-)
Saturday 22 August 2009
Tuesday 18 August 2009
On a lighter note
This is where we're hoping to move to! (Pending paperwork etc). Looking at w/c 14th Sept which ties in just right with the house sale as well. It's got it's own garage (sorry - workshop for Ant!), wood store, walled garden (small but enough for us) and it's exactly where we wanted to be, just outside Helston. (As a reference point for those that have been this way - it's only about a mile and a half from Gweek where the seal sanctury is.)
We're definitely downsizing so getting rid of furniture now but that's all part of the plan anyway. We can't wait - we've really got something to work towards now. :-)
Sx
We're definitely downsizing so getting rid of furniture now but that's all part of the plan anyway. We can't wait - we've really got something to work towards now. :-)
Sx
Tuesday 11 August 2009
Philosophical Ramblings
Mental Ill Health. Now there's a trio of words that make people scurry for cover. People (I am of course generalising here - there are always exceptions) seem terrified of them. A trio of words that mustn't be talked about. Or if they are its in hushed voices not quite acknowledging the person it's related to. Why is that? It's just yet another health thing, surely?
I was lying awake at some time this morning (one of those where you're afraid to look at the clock because those numbers really just shouldn't be allowed to exist) and started thinking about it all. Why does society have such a fear of mental ill health? Is it a fear of the unknown? Is it social conditioning that people who are 'funny in the head' are somewhat inferior or compromised? I don't know. I suspect a bit of both. Secondly why are we generally so reticent to disclose a bout of mental ill health? What's wrong with it? Why is it such a taboo that as individuals we are scared to admit to?
I remembered something that Tom said to me when he'd enrolled at Bristol to do a degree in Philosophy after retiring. The brain is just as much a muscle as the rest of your body - if you stop using it, it wastes away and eventually you won't be able to use it at all. That makes a lot of sense. Therefore the reverse must also be true. Like any other muscle if you overuse it, it gets strained and needs a break. Some time to recuperate.
So if I was to say I'd been out running (don't laugh!), and had damaged a muscle in my leg, the following would be true.
Cause: Overuse of muscle
Symptom: Inability to walk further than 3 steps outside the front door without problems.
Solution: Stay inside the house, try not to use it more than absolutely necessary until healed, talk to GP, signed off work for a bit, take referral to specialist.
Specialist treatment: Questioning to understand whether this is an underlying problem or a result of a specific action to trigger the injury, leading to gentle massage, stimulating some pressure points, and giving you some stretches and exercises to do at home to speed up the healing process, and stop it recurring.
Actually this description is exactly the same if it's a brain thing. In my case (apparently) severe stress and anxiety. Same cause - overuse of brain. Same symptom - inability to walk further than 3 steps from front door without turning into quivering wreck. Solution etc etc exactly as above. You get the point.
My point is - why is it such an issue (in society I mean)? Why is it different? I've overused my brain by bombarding it with too much to cope with, and now it needs a rest. Exactly the same as if I'd run too much and done it to my leg. So why is society predisposed to 'not want to talk about it'. To stigmatise. To assume and judge. Why are we generally reticent to admit to having problems relating to one specific muscle where we'd admit if it was others? (You will notice the part of me that automatically wishes to flout society's views and quite happily declare my own situation here! Those that know me well will not be surprised by this...)
I suspect part of my way of thinking comes from my job where I actually sit on the county's mental health commissioning steering group - where we get to look at what services are out there and how we can make them better / fill gaps. (My GP laughed when I told him that as he was writing out the referral form to the counselling service.) I suppose I get to see the other side of it. ( Service user instead of service commissioner. How strange!) My job is all about treating everyone as individuals rather than boxing them into the labels society often gives people - I've never been a fan of labels for people though - people are just people. I suppose I've also got that side of me that tries to look at the bigger picture rather than just what's immediately in front of me as well. Always seeking understanding beyond what's obvious. My aforementioned grandfather has a lot to answer for! ;-)
I just think it's ridiculous that because it's my brain that's not well / damaged / worn out, there will be a 'hushed voice' when discussing what's wrong with me - if it's discussed at all. If it was my leg people would be even laughing about me being daft enough to overuse it like that and throwing me the occasional grape. That won't happen here. I'm personally not ashamed of it - I don't really care who knows - it's just something that needs fixing that's all. Until it's fixed I'm off work and will soon be getting treatment from a specialist. No big deal really. (Although I will admit not being able to leave the house is a complete pain in the bum! But then it would be whatever my injury.) I'd just like it not to be a bigger deal than if it was my leg - philosophically it should be just the same.
Gosh I've rambled a lot. Well done if you've actually read all this lot! Just for the record my declaring this isn't a blatant scream for sympathy (although I'll never turn down a grape - especially in the bottled variety!) - I'm doing OK as long as I don't go out! I probably even know and understand where this has all come from but I'm going to sit back and let the professionals do what they've been commissioned to do (!) and help me rather than trying to unravel it all by myself (which, I suspect, is one of the reasons I'm like this at the moment...). I've taken up sewing to keep me occupied in the meantime - I'm starting on a new skirt today. Pictures may follow if it's not a complete disaster!
S xx
I was lying awake at some time this morning (one of those where you're afraid to look at the clock because those numbers really just shouldn't be allowed to exist) and started thinking about it all. Why does society have such a fear of mental ill health? Is it a fear of the unknown? Is it social conditioning that people who are 'funny in the head' are somewhat inferior or compromised? I don't know. I suspect a bit of both. Secondly why are we generally so reticent to disclose a bout of mental ill health? What's wrong with it? Why is it such a taboo that as individuals we are scared to admit to?
I remembered something that Tom said to me when he'd enrolled at Bristol to do a degree in Philosophy after retiring. The brain is just as much a muscle as the rest of your body - if you stop using it, it wastes away and eventually you won't be able to use it at all. That makes a lot of sense. Therefore the reverse must also be true. Like any other muscle if you overuse it, it gets strained and needs a break. Some time to recuperate.
So if I was to say I'd been out running (don't laugh!), and had damaged a muscle in my leg, the following would be true.
Cause: Overuse of muscle
Symptom: Inability to walk further than 3 steps outside the front door without problems.
Solution: Stay inside the house, try not to use it more than absolutely necessary until healed, talk to GP, signed off work for a bit, take referral to specialist.
Specialist treatment: Questioning to understand whether this is an underlying problem or a result of a specific action to trigger the injury, leading to gentle massage, stimulating some pressure points, and giving you some stretches and exercises to do at home to speed up the healing process, and stop it recurring.
Actually this description is exactly the same if it's a brain thing. In my case (apparently) severe stress and anxiety. Same cause - overuse of brain. Same symptom - inability to walk further than 3 steps from front door without turning into quivering wreck. Solution etc etc exactly as above. You get the point.
My point is - why is it such an issue (in society I mean)? Why is it different? I've overused my brain by bombarding it with too much to cope with, and now it needs a rest. Exactly the same as if I'd run too much and done it to my leg. So why is society predisposed to 'not want to talk about it'. To stigmatise. To assume and judge. Why are we generally reticent to admit to having problems relating to one specific muscle where we'd admit if it was others? (You will notice the part of me that automatically wishes to flout society's views and quite happily declare my own situation here! Those that know me well will not be surprised by this...)
I suspect part of my way of thinking comes from my job where I actually sit on the county's mental health commissioning steering group - where we get to look at what services are out there and how we can make them better / fill gaps. (My GP laughed when I told him that as he was writing out the referral form to the counselling service.) I suppose I get to see the other side of it. ( Service user instead of service commissioner. How strange!) My job is all about treating everyone as individuals rather than boxing them into the labels society often gives people - I've never been a fan of labels for people though - people are just people. I suppose I've also got that side of me that tries to look at the bigger picture rather than just what's immediately in front of me as well. Always seeking understanding beyond what's obvious. My aforementioned grandfather has a lot to answer for! ;-)
I just think it's ridiculous that because it's my brain that's not well / damaged / worn out, there will be a 'hushed voice' when discussing what's wrong with me - if it's discussed at all. If it was my leg people would be even laughing about me being daft enough to overuse it like that and throwing me the occasional grape. That won't happen here. I'm personally not ashamed of it - I don't really care who knows - it's just something that needs fixing that's all. Until it's fixed I'm off work and will soon be getting treatment from a specialist. No big deal really. (Although I will admit not being able to leave the house is a complete pain in the bum! But then it would be whatever my injury.) I'd just like it not to be a bigger deal than if it was my leg - philosophically it should be just the same.
Gosh I've rambled a lot. Well done if you've actually read all this lot! Just for the record my declaring this isn't a blatant scream for sympathy (although I'll never turn down a grape - especially in the bottled variety!) - I'm doing OK as long as I don't go out! I probably even know and understand where this has all come from but I'm going to sit back and let the professionals do what they've been commissioned to do (!) and help me rather than trying to unravel it all by myself (which, I suspect, is one of the reasons I'm like this at the moment...). I've taken up sewing to keep me occupied in the meantime - I'm starting on a new skirt today. Pictures may follow if it's not a complete disaster!
S xx
Wednesday 5 August 2009
Really had enough now
This is getting silly. I want to state officially here that I have had enough of living in this bloody house with the stupid narrow minded neighbours who have nothing better to do with their time than judge other people's lives.
The neighbours are second home owners. This is their 'holiday residence'. He apparently hasn't worked for 18 months. She gave up her job in June so they could come down here for the summer. Along with their little rat-like yappy dog thing. Nice.
So basically this week I'm off work anyway, and Anthony has the week as leave. We haven't gone away, so he's been trying to take the opportunity to do lots of 'shed' stuff. The bit where he sits and follows his hobby and also tries to develop his fledgling business. So this morning he goes out there and they complained. Apparently it's inconsiderate of us to use the garden as a workshop, and it's noisy and inconsiderate for us to be using tools when they want to sit in their garden all day. They then threatened us with making the house sale as difficult as possible for us if we carry on making a noise at all.
I wouldn't mind so much if it was like he was out there at all hours making a racket. He tends mostly to be sitting in the shed (with the door shut so as not to create dust for the neighbours) just tinkering. The power tools are very intermittent. And most of the time he's at work during the day so may do an hour or so a couple of evenings a week and one day at weekends. Damned inconsiderate of us when they have put so much effort into sitting round topping up their tans I know. Unfortunately some of us work for a living but no - it's not fair of us to want to pursue a hobby while on holiday.
I've had enough. I should be angry with them - particularly the threatening bit - but to be honest I don't want to waste that much of my limited energy supplies on narrow minded people like that.
So that's it for now - no more wood working until we move (hopefully sooner rather than later!). I have a sneaking suspicion Anthony is planning on making as much noise as humanly possible once we've exchanged contracts though (any legal pointers on the options they have to make trouble after that point would be appreciated!!).
Still - my time off and strange head things mean I've taken up a new hobby as well - sewing! I'm having fun making a skirt at the moment and made a really nice bag at the weekend. It keeps me occupied without having to do much actual thinking and without having to actually go out of the house (both of which I seem to be struggling with at the moment).
S.
The neighbours are second home owners. This is their 'holiday residence'. He apparently hasn't worked for 18 months. She gave up her job in June so they could come down here for the summer. Along with their little rat-like yappy dog thing. Nice.
So basically this week I'm off work anyway, and Anthony has the week as leave. We haven't gone away, so he's been trying to take the opportunity to do lots of 'shed' stuff. The bit where he sits and follows his hobby and also tries to develop his fledgling business. So this morning he goes out there and they complained. Apparently it's inconsiderate of us to use the garden as a workshop, and it's noisy and inconsiderate for us to be using tools when they want to sit in their garden all day. They then threatened us with making the house sale as difficult as possible for us if we carry on making a noise at all.
I wouldn't mind so much if it was like he was out there at all hours making a racket. He tends mostly to be sitting in the shed (with the door shut so as not to create dust for the neighbours) just tinkering. The power tools are very intermittent. And most of the time he's at work during the day so may do an hour or so a couple of evenings a week and one day at weekends. Damned inconsiderate of us when they have put so much effort into sitting round topping up their tans I know. Unfortunately some of us work for a living but no - it's not fair of us to want to pursue a hobby while on holiday.
I've had enough. I should be angry with them - particularly the threatening bit - but to be honest I don't want to waste that much of my limited energy supplies on narrow minded people like that.
So that's it for now - no more wood working until we move (hopefully sooner rather than later!). I have a sneaking suspicion Anthony is planning on making as much noise as humanly possible once we've exchanged contracts though (any legal pointers on the options they have to make trouble after that point would be appreciated!!).
Still - my time off and strange head things mean I've taken up a new hobby as well - sewing! I'm having fun making a skirt at the moment and made a really nice bag at the weekend. It keeps me occupied without having to do much actual thinking and without having to actually go out of the house (both of which I seem to be struggling with at the moment).
S.
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