Mental Ill Health. Now there's a trio of words that make people scurry for cover. People (I am of course generalising here - there are always exceptions) seem terrified of them. A trio of words that mustn't be talked about. Or if they are its in hushed voices not quite acknowledging the person it's related to. Why is that? It's just yet another health thing, surely?
I was lying awake at some time this morning (one of those where you're afraid to look at the clock because those numbers really just shouldn't be allowed to exist) and started thinking about it all. Why does society have such a fear of mental ill health? Is it a fear of the unknown? Is it social conditioning that people who are 'funny in the head' are somewhat inferior or compromised? I don't know. I suspect a bit of both. Secondly why are we generally so reticent to disclose a bout of mental ill health? What's wrong with it? Why is it such a taboo that as individuals we are scared to admit to?
I remembered something that Tom said to me when he'd enrolled at Bristol to do a degree in Philosophy after retiring. The brain is just as much a muscle as the rest of your body - if you stop using it, it wastes away and eventually you won't be able to use it at all. That makes a lot of sense. Therefore the reverse must also be true. Like any other muscle if you overuse it, it gets strained and needs a break. Some time to recuperate.
So if I was to say I'd been out running (don't laugh!), and had damaged a muscle in my leg, the following would be true.
Cause: Overuse of muscle
Symptom: Inability to walk further than 3 steps outside the front door without problems.
Solution: Stay inside the house, try not to use it more than absolutely necessary until healed, talk to GP, signed off work for a bit, take referral to specialist.
Specialist treatment: Questioning to understand whether this is an underlying problem or a result of a specific action to trigger the injury, leading to gentle massage, stimulating some pressure points, and giving you some stretches and exercises to do at home to speed up the healing process, and stop it recurring.
Actually this description is exactly the same if it's a brain thing. In my case (apparently) severe stress and anxiety. Same cause - overuse of brain. Same symptom - inability to walk further than 3 steps from front door without turning into quivering wreck. Solution etc etc exactly as above. You get the point.
My point is - why is it such an issue (in society I mean)? Why is it different? I've overused my brain by bombarding it with too much to cope with, and now it needs a rest. Exactly the same as if I'd run too much and done it to my leg. So why is society predisposed to 'not want to talk about it'. To stigmatise. To assume and judge. Why are we generally reticent to admit to having problems relating to one specific muscle where we'd admit if it was others? (You will notice the part of me that automatically wishes to flout society's views and quite happily declare my own situation here! Those that know me well will not be surprised by this...)
I suspect part of my way of thinking comes from my job where I actually sit on the county's mental health commissioning steering group - where we get to look at what services are out there and how we can make them better / fill gaps. (My GP laughed when I told him that as he was writing out the referral form to the counselling service.) I suppose I get to see the other side of it. ( Service user instead of service commissioner. How strange!) My job is all about treating everyone as individuals rather than boxing them into the labels society often gives people - I've never been a fan of labels for people though - people are just people. I suppose I've also got that side of me that tries to look at the bigger picture rather than just what's immediately in front of me as well. Always seeking understanding beyond what's obvious. My aforementioned grandfather has a lot to answer for! ;-)
I just think it's ridiculous that because it's my brain that's not well / damaged / worn out, there will be a 'hushed voice' when discussing what's wrong with me - if it's discussed at all. If it was my leg people would be even laughing about me being daft enough to overuse it like that and throwing me the occasional grape. That won't happen here. I'm personally not ashamed of it - I don't really care who knows - it's just something that needs fixing that's all. Until it's fixed I'm off work and will soon be getting treatment from a specialist. No big deal really. (Although I will admit not being able to leave the house is a complete pain in the bum! But then it would be whatever my injury.) I'd just like it not to be a bigger deal than if it was my leg - philosophically it should be just the same.
Gosh I've rambled a lot. Well done if you've actually read all this lot! Just for the record my declaring this isn't a blatant scream for sympathy (although I'll never turn down a grape - especially in the bottled variety!) - I'm doing OK as long as I don't go out! I probably even know and understand where this has all come from but I'm going to sit back and let the professionals do what they've been commissioned to do (!) and help me rather than trying to unravel it all by myself (which, I suspect, is one of the reasons I'm like this at the moment...). I've taken up sewing to keep me occupied in the meantime - I'm starting on a new skirt today. Pictures may follow if it's not a complete disaster!
S xx
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3 comments:
Wow! Okay well first off WHY have you been signed off from work? What's up?? Obviously some kind of stress but this is first I've heard....
going onto your more general discussion, I think it depends what you're referring to. "Mental health" covers such a wide range of things from stress related problems, through anxiety to dimentia to personality disorders. My own feeling is there's less of a taboo about the former - quite a lot about the latter. And yes I think it's a lot to do with the lack of understanding about the whole process. Dimentia (have I spelt that right?) and personality disorders change personality which is an awful big change to have to witness and can be very scary. Mind you, of course, something as fixable as depression can also change your personality and that can be scary too.
So I don't think it's just about over or under-using a muscle to the same extent that a leg strain might be. Spraining your ankle doesn't change your personality. Over-using your brain (or any other "wiring" problem) may well do; or at least change how you see the world and how other people see you. It's more than mechanical - probably because of all those little electronic synapse thingies which we really don't understand.
In addition if the problem is stress I think there's a lot of suspicion about people who go off work with "stress" these days. There's this perception that it's seen as an easy way out of work - particularly if you work in the public sector it seems - so, obviously you're faking it for a free ride. But, of course, we're British so we don't say anything ... and even if we weren't how do you address a suspicion that someone may be "faking" with that person? So we don't talk about that either.
I think depression tends to fall into the same kind of category. From what Dad's told me it's one of those conditions that if you've never suffered that inability to get out of bed simply because everything looks sooo bad, it's difficult to understand it. And again this is different from a sprained ankle. If you can't walk because your ankle/leg is injured you can obviously see this - so can anyone else - and it makes sense. But the idea that you can't walk because you're seeing the world all out of kilter is a much harder concept to comprehend: irrespective of whether you go for the muscle or electronic explanation. Again, remember that fifty years ago people with depression were generally told to "get over it" so we're still fairly new at this.
end of part one
PART TWO (for some reason Blogger won't let me do this all in one go!)
Overall the brain is such a personal thing, it not just affects who we are it IS who we are, that it's incredibly difficult to visualise how anyone else's might or might not be working. And plus it's all terribly abstract, you can see an injured leg. You have to accept the word of someone who says their brain isn't working properly. And that can be difficult for a lot of people, particularly as we get more sophisticated and more cynical.
Besides if I read between the lines of what you're saying about yourself, you're suffering from stress and anxiety which appears to have led to some form of agoraphobia. If so then I disagree that this is simply caused by brain "muscle overuse". I think it's a bit more than that. We all suffer stress and anxiety to varying extents- it's how the brain responds to such stresses (no pun!) that causes the mental health. If it's caused agoraphobia in you, it might not in me or anyone else.
to get back to general discussion, I think things perception-wise are improving, but it's a work in progress in this world where we are constantly reminded (particularly as women) that we have to be thin, successful, multi-talented and capable of doing EVERYTHING well. It's a helluva lot to cope with. Take my philosophy don't! Do what you can and ignore the rest. yes you'll be villified by certain segments of society but sod 'em!! .... sorry seem to have gone off point a bit there.
anyway so the question remains WHO has been running away from you? And what's going on anyway? And will we see you on the 30th in S-on-A? (I throw that one in just to see if you're still reading...!)
take care hon; and remember the peope that count will always want to know. A xxx
ps: your illustration of a the leg muscle problem isn't necessarily true. The majority of people would i suspect just take the painkillers / anti-inflammatories or whatever without any kind of therapy to look for an underlying cause.
First of all I appreciate you actually reading through all my rather long winded ramblings! I think you deserve a medal! Lol!
I also think you deserve another one for taking the time to respond so thoroughly!
My ramblings in the post weren't really about me - more about the whole concept and how society treats it 'as a rule' - and yes I know that's a generalisation. I suppose it's experiences not just from my point of view as going through it - but as someone who commissions services and talks to providers and service users and what their experiences are. Just one of those 4am ponderings really.
About me - oh I'm ok. For a number of reasons I don't want to post publicly some of the details so I'll email you. It's not agrophobia so much as a fear of other people. Utterly irrational - it's annoying the hell out of me - but it's happening and I can't do anything about it at the moment. Driving is fine as long as I'm on a completely clear road. Put another car behind or in front and I'm a quivering wreck (whether passenger or driver). Same with being in a shop. If i'm the only person there I'm OK but a queue / crowd appears and I'm not. (This is a simplified version, obviously!).
Back to the original (and yes I am still reading - but won't be there on 30th I'm afraid).
I do think some people hide away injuries with painkillers - but they do the same with mental health issues as well. Drink, drugs, eating disorders - however it manifests. Some people will get help for things that are wrong and some won't - that's true of physical injuries as well as brain issues.
We could debate this for hours! I'll leave it there for now.
And thank you. I know people care - and that does make a difference - and I always assume that the people who read this blog are generally NOT in the categories of generalisations I make about society! (If that makes sense!).
S xx
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